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November 16, 2008

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CarlyinNJ

I am looking forward to your radio program tonight at 9:00p.m. on Blog Talk Radio; "Sins of Omission." When I first read what happened at the restaurant; I was just appalled. I shared the horrific story with a male friend and he interrupted me before the end (after the part where the sicko starts dragging your friend by the hair and punching her) and my male friend said, "please tell me that this guy was arrested!!!"

Unfortunately, the psycho guy was not arrested and the attitude of police officer was also quite offensive. Pouring water on someone’s head is not the same as a brutal violent assault on a person. Actually before the Democrat Party Primary Election took place I thought we had come so much further in the protection of women in our Country from verbal and physical assault. What I came to realize is that the suppression of women as a group through physical, emotional and mental attack is still very much an accepted means of controlling us.

Years ago (in the early 80’s); as the Director of a Women's Center in New Jersey; I assisted in the writing of a grant for and creating of a shelter for battered women in Southern New Jersey. The Shelter is still in existence and has served thousands of women and children in an effort to provide options for women who live with an abusive partner.

The group of women (and progressive men) that we worked with also obtained funding for an advocacy organization for sexual assault victims. Many in Law Enforcement back then were very clueless and difficult to deal with and they needed a lot of sensitivity training and education. Over the years there had been much improvement. There are good strong advocates in law enforcement and the legal system who do admirable work in the effort to stop violence against women. Over this last year, however, I have seen a lot of evidence that we have lost much ground.

I concur that the Election process for POTUS this year unleashed a new wave of violence both physical and verbal against women that has set our efforts back decades. Amazingly, many women gleefully participated in the bashing and violence perpetrated against women (with Senator Hillary Clinton and Gov. Sarah Palin serving as the lighting rod for that groundswell of vitriol).

I am very glad you are speaking out and working to bring people together to stop this onslaught perpetrated against women. On behalf of my one year old Grand daughter, Isabella, I would love to see true equality for women. Perhaps all of this ugly sexism and misogyny can be used to create a new wave of Feminism. There is no doubt, we certainly need it.


The Victim

Hello, I'm the women who was pulled by the hair across the bar and punched in the face, my glasses twisted and broken. It's monday and my head and neck still hurt. I just wanted to say thank you Lynette for bringing this issue to the fore...and I agree with you not to release the name of the restaurant yet. Can you call me.
thanks

votermom

Calling a woman a C*** should be a hate crime.

I am so sorry you experienced this.

Cyn

Actually, if the woman who owns this restaurant were to stand behind the woman who experienced this and fire the manager/bartender who refused to do what was right, she would have more business, as every woman in the area would be dining there.

It would become a safe haven in this otherwise upside down world.

Lexia

Anna,

Here are two that should work.

http://www.aclu.org/womensrights/gen/23227lgl20051223.html
http://hrbrief.org/category/iachr/

I didn't use these initially because the ACLU one is from 2005 and the one with the actual hearing has some distracting testimony where the U.S. is actually re-arguing the facts. When this is done on appeal, its a sure sign of a losing argument, but someone unfamiliar with the law might not know that.

Also, I couldn't find anything on the New Agenda that looked like style posts. Could you point me to where they might be? Thanks!

Anna

LEXIA - The ACLU link doesn't bring anything up. Bummer...

Anna

LEXIA - Thank you for your posts. I will look into the links you kindly provided. I think you've raised a very very important issue and perhaps one that we could focus on in a concrete way in terms of lobbying our elected officials regarding legislative changes that are needed. I would encourage you to re-post over at The New Agenda. I think folks over there would find what you have to say very relevant. Thank you, again.

Anna

I don't think outing the restaurant is very relevant in this case. If the restaurant owner or manager had given their blessings to the outrageous behavior of the guy(s) at the bar, that would be one thing. But, that's not what happened and what you/Lynette witnessed is woven through out culture, now all the more deeply thanks to this election year, perhaps.

SadStateOfAffairs

With the floodgates now opened thanks to the abominable display of sexism by the MSM I suspect we are in for more of what you experienced. When I was in Denver for the DNC convention, a group of us marched to MSNBC studio where we were greeted wtih Obama supporters. One rather large fellow made the following comment in response to our dissent: "Don't make me come over there and hurt you".

So of course if there had been violence, in this fella's mind, if would of been "our" fault.

This was followed up by a Chris Matthews hand gesture telling us to "give him more" and mouthing the words "Bring it On".

Where is this coming from? Obviously abuse of women is nothing new, it's just that now it seems to be acceptable not only behind closed doors but openly in public where you experienced it in all it's ugliness.

I've often wondered if this is not a result of the Dr. Spock generation....coming home to roost.

imustprotest

I read your original post on Saturday and I was shocked but not suprised. Is that possible? Well that's how I felt because I've been concerned that the misogyny of this campaign escalated after Sarah Palin came on the scene. The Obama campaign condoned this behavior through their actions and the McCain campaign with their silence. I went out to dinner last night and as my husband and I walked through the parking lot to the restaurant I saw a group of young men kind of horsing around, being rowdy. Normally I would have barely noticed them but I turned to my husband and said, "Am I going to have to fear going out alone at night now?" I have never felt that way before.

lexia

We, collectively via Congress and as individuals, did try to say "enough". Those efforts were destroyed by the Supreme Court as recently as 2005. The police in this case were acting as police were given the explicit right to act in "Gonzales".

Women have the least rights of any U.S. citizen today, but the prog boys and Obama girls still feel that as long as all women have access via a sexual relationship to the same level of male power and income, that's all the equality we need. Like Michelle's "breakthrough" to First Mom.

lexia

"Hate crimes are perpetrated against women every minute of the day. Isn't it time we say enough? "

Women are not included in the majority of hate crime laws. Federal hate crime laws specify protection on the basis of race, creed (that's religion, including those that openly discriminate against women), ethnicity and national origin. Not gender. The oldest of these laws, the one to just collect statistics, even includes sexual orientation, but leaves out gender.

Of the 45 states and DC that have hate crime laws, all of them cover race, religion and ethnicity. Only 28 cover gender. Again, more cover sexual orientation - 32. Source data here: http://tinyurl.com/6e2yyj

For information on the horrifying state of U.S. women's actual legal status, see "U.S. v. Morrison", "Gonzales v. Castle Rock" and "Lenehan v. Castle Rock"
http://tinyurl.com/6mzrv3 http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/99-5.ZS.html
http://www.aclu.org/womensrights/gen/23227lgl20051223.html.

Briefly, these leave in place statutes passed to protect black men against racial violence, but deny protection to women against male violence, on the very same legal grounds.

yttik

I'm sorry this happened. It's not your fault. Why do I always say that? Because if you're female usually the first thing police or lawyers do is try to imply it was somehow your fault. You must have caused it, you must have done something to deserve it. You must have started it. I have a constant mantra in response, "it's not your fault".

Not every cop, not every lawyer of course. There's some good ones out there. But when a woman is victimized, I promise you somebody is going to imply she probably deserved it. You don't hear men blamed for their victimization, for example a man who is mugged will probably never be asked why he was in that neighborhood and why he was carrying cash. What did you do to provoke the robbery? You'll almost never hear that.

Yes indeed, it is way past time we say "enough".

InsightAnalytical-GRL

This is really awful and coming in the context of this last year... things have got to get back on track with fighting women...

Palin this week again showed her guts but Couric... Couric is just unreal!!!! Also, I think this Hillary as SOS is a real sneaky way to further destroy her! Esp. if the stuff in the Sunday Telegraph UK is true...

The Past Week: November 9-15, Recaps & Random Thoughts (Suddenly Soiled Sarah Gets Advice from Katie Couric, Joke “Journalist”; Gov Luv; Sunday Telegraph, UK Previews More Clinton Trashing?; Major Stray Dog Update

http://insightanalytical.wordpress.com/2008/11/16/the-past-week-november-9-15-recaps-random-thoughts-suddenly-soiled-sarah-gets-advice-from-katie-couric-joke-journalist-gov-luv-sunday-telegraph-uk-previews-more-clinton-trashing-maj/

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